Did someone put a hex on you?

Galatians 2:20, 3:1

I want to be closer to God, but I don't always do things that bring me closer to Him. On impulse, I feel I have to do things that are for me or I will lose myself. Maybe some of that is true, but I believe on the whole God is leading me to shed some impulse, at least the impulses that lead me to jump to one activity or another. Or maybe it's better said that I'd like to not allow impulses to cause me to singularly focus on an activity, whether I get to do it or not, how I can make that task better. Instead, I'd like to spend more time allowing the activity to lead me to God, family, and friends.

Yesterday, I was so grateful to be a part of the Read's celebration, but I found myself thinking that I was the blessing. In instances like that, where I surmise that I am the gift for everyone, I can behave on the one hand in a superficial manner (I wouldn't want to spoil the gift), and on the other hand self-indulgent (I am the gift after all). Such self-pleasuring focus causes me to miss on the real blessing: the Read's, the celebration, Will's joy, the children, friends, food!

I don't get to exercise in the morning, or play guitar, or get to the greenhouse. I did 2 of 3 this morning. It felt great. But as I sat to write, I remembered that I've been wanting to connect more with God and Jess and Sadie. The next question then became, how can I use the moments of exercise or music to connect?

Come to think of it, so much of my life is about tasks, about getting things done. How about connection? Do I search for that?

Lord, did someone put a hex on me, to find myself circling the same terrain over and over as did Israel in the desert? Snap me out of it, get me into it, help me live in the simple truth of your sacrifice and love. Permit me to move beyond the elementary principle's of Christ (Hebrews 6:1-3) to a place of inwardly being renewed day by day (2 Corinthians 4:16). In You, Lord, I take refuge, let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness (Psalm 31:1).

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