So he arose and followed Him

Matthew 9:9

In an observation yesterday, Mrs. Pope-Banks explored tension with her class. In my own life there is tension which I wish to resolve that won't. I must learn to live with the tension. And I do, but it causes me anxiety. I find myself like Paul wishing this thorn be plucked from my flesh.

The tension I'm thinking of most right now is that between novelty and routine; put another way, the tension between spontaneity and discipline. It takes spontaneity to leap out into new endeavor, but it takes discipline to stick to the same thing repeatedly until that endeavor becomes a skill. Both take time. I cannot be spontaneous all of the time because then I become unreliable, fickle, and I don't accomplish much. I cannot be disciplined all of the time, because then I ignore others for the sake of accomplishing my routines (which hopefully lead to real accomplishment).

I think an answer lies in paying attention. And then reflecting.

Lord, I tend to think of myself pretty highly, but then I get to writing what's in my heart and I can get downright embarrassed. Are other people having these same thoughts? I'm almost 40 years old, shouldn't I have settled some of the answers to these questions? Perhaps the answer is no. So, then, help me to continue to take a look at my life, but more importantly, life in general. To embrace life... Life.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

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