You Comprehend My Path

The Discipline of confession brings an end to pretense....Honesty leads to confession, and confession leads to change.

As I read through the last section, readying in my mind to meet with Tim tomorrow morning, I though about how much "pretense" there is in my own life. I thought about the kids I get mad at for doing the stupid things they do, and the adults. But on some level, do I not completely understand? "I am chief among sinners!"

I've thought recently, within the past few days, that life is starting to become more "life". At first, and for a long time, and probably still, life was work. But now I am trying to make time for kayaking, and breakfast with my wife, and not working in the evenings. I'm not totally there yet, but I'm getting there. But honestly, I'm still really mad at the people I work with. I feel like so much of what comes toward me is spiteful and demoralizing. Yet, given this morning's reading on confession, how much do I do the same things to these people? "Not as much as they do", I will immediately say on impulse, reflex defensively. But a more thorough examination might not have me standing on ground higher than they at all. And that's just fine.

I've said in the past, "I never want to be above it all, because then everything is beneath me." In similar fashion, God has put us all, humans, on the same level. We're all sinners. We all have impulses and proclivities toward the harmful. Can I see Christ in my enemies today?

Lord Jesus, I have been "good" and I have been "bad" as a representative of Christ, whatever that means. I have served in ways that others don't, yet I have blocked myself from serving in ways rather simple and natural for others. I can lack compassion. I am not a rock star Christian. But please, Lord Jesus, say that I am a mere Christian. Help me to see You in others. Especially my enemies. Help me to pursue the way of the cross wholeheartedly, and indefinitely.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

Psalm 139

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I've Found Jesus

Image
Reflection: I'm reconnecting with the early days of my faith by listening to Delirious? Cutting Edge. It's a huge record that has always sounded like what the music of heaven from the voices of men will sound like. And whenever I listen to that record I'm summoned back to my grandparents house, in my bedroom, also my mom's bedroom in her time, praising my ass off! All the feelings come back of that new sense of redemption and enormous love, when I was bursting at the seams for God. Now I am still bursting at the seams, but it's a little bit more due to middle agedness, and maybe less to do about the fire of God. But I pray that it is shifting.  I was curious about Delirious?'s front man, Martin Smith, because he had such an impact on me. I read an article and what I got from it was sort of what I got from reading the Lecrae book, I Am Restored: there are these two phases of a life. There's an early part that is more power than wisdom, and then a later part t
Read more

I Vow an Ego Crushing Vow

Image
Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself, it means thinking of yourself less - Ken Blanchard. Jess and I had a conversation last night about assumptions and expectations. I can't remember how the conversation began, but she concluded that we both drive each other crazy and I shared with her my frustration with her assuming that I am incompetent and other things I cannot remember. Alcohol. One thing that we agreed on is that the things that get in the way are tiny little things. They are inconsequential, forgettable. Ego! The ego is at work in us! I did a quick search "how to deal with ego in marriage" and the top hits were articles on how ego destroys marriage, how ego is coming from a place of deficit as an individual, a need to be right. I think that the "wanting to be right" part is more me, while Jess is more "give me what I want". The bottom line is that the central figure is me, myself, and I. Not a good basis for relationship.
Read more

"Follow Me" Crazy Horse Summons Jesus Christ

Listening to an audiobook by Joseph Marshall III, a Native American in story and upbringing. He tells stories of Crazy Horse and his relations that are reminiscent of Jesus. I'd like to share a few of those stories one being about a man who follows the path alone and finds a path of self-discovery found himself in the end but not the beginning. He, in his isolation, was observant about his surroundings; he became the best at knowing the land knowing the ways that you can find shelter. And peace. There came a time when the warriors were away and this man had to be relied on to get the women and the elders to shelter. from that time on he became known as the man who knows the land. There's another story written about Crazy Horse where a man came to him and said I want to join your people your community and Crazy Horse said to him kill your horse and this didn't make sense to the people that he lived with and the community because your horse is your livelihood. What Crazy Ho
Read more