Plain Listening is the Thing

Plain listening is the thing.

The past couple of days I have been thinking about the kind of man that I am, how I sort of dabble in things that are not good for me, dabble in sin. I said to Shiv the other night that I want to have the freedom to make a bad choice. And, so, while in NYC I've done too much drinking, too much cussing, and too much gawking over females. I try to limit beers, to monitor my speech and to avert my eyes, but I give in at times.

Two thoughts come to mind from this, one in regard to my life as a Christian and the other a statement from Martin Luther to an uptight Christian.

Thinking about leadership, I've been telling people all week that I'm not ready to be a principal, not ready to handle the responsibility of being on all of the time, of handling everyone's problems with proper care. But maybe it's like having children; you're never really ready, you just step into it when called upon to. By extension, I think of my life of faith, my inconsistencies. I want to live a good and holy life, but up to a point. I still want to be able to do what I want and have fun.

Martin Luther once said to an uptight minister who was always conveying and obeying in a manner of deep contrition, "go out and give God something to forgive you for". In other words, lives in grace are free lives, and God forgives. He almost seems to be advocating for sin that grace may abound, but really what he's saying is "live a little, man".

So, can I live a little and be a keeper of the faith? I think, yes, but I have to be ever attentive to what's being asked of me. I have to be attentive to obey. Is my wife happy? My daughter? Are people disgruntled with me? Am I avoiding something? These are some guiding questions that can give me indication if I'm on the right track.

I drank too much last night. Today, in a somewhat compromised state, I will have to bring my wife to a good place by being considerate and thoughtful. But I want to do that, and do that well. I don't want to look back with regret, I want to look forward with expectation of grace, and live in the present in obedience.

Lord Jesus, my middle name is rebel, war. This name and spirit I inherit from my father. It is a blessing and a curse. Can You help me truly present myself to You and offer You my rebel spirit to use for Your good pleasure? I feel I am still not wholly given over to You, for many reasons, but I know You have called me for a reason. Can I get on to discovering that reason? Lord Jesus, I believe, help thou my unbelief. I seek to make sacrifice, contrition for my sins, help me to obey.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

1 Sam 15 - Saul's rejection as king for the sin of failing to obey in the complete slaughter of the Amalekites. To obey is better than sacrifice.

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