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I spend so much time thinking about how I can be better than everyone, I miss out on being good. Lord God, help me to pursue the very best You are calling me to, not the better than what others are called to. In Jesus Name, Amen Psalm 122:9 msg For the sake of the house of our God, God ,      I’ll do my very best for you.

Thinking about my daughter, and praying with her and all that. Thinking about how I would be broken if she were to choose the world and think me a fool for choosing God. That intellectual pinch still stings. But, I know that should it come to her having to find God the long route (the only route?), I still have to display confidence in the Lord. I can be shaken by every doubt and every trial, but, Lord, help me stand steadfast in You. 1 Cor 9:27 Heb 10:39 Lord Jesus, help me to see clearly that I am not a quitter, You have put Your Spirit within me to do great things for Your Kingdom. So, help me to walk, run, do, and be with purpose, not as a shadowboxer tucked away, but as one ready always for action. In Jesus Name, Amen

I'm coming into the summer season. A season for me which, I'm still praying, will be characterized by rest and restoration. Each summer these past few years has been characterized by a special "push" for one reason or another. But whenever I come into a time of greater flexibility and leisure, I tend to live a life hard on my body. Stay up late, drink too much, infatuate over different trivialities. I'm hoping that this summer I am able to maintain a level of discipline and routine. I'll have to set some goals for what I'd like to accomplish, and there is a little ringing in my ear about pursuing things solely for my own good and those that can truly be for the good of others as well. It's important to remember this start: 1 Cor 9:27 I don't know about you, but I'm running hard for the finish line. I'm giving it everything I've got. No sloppy living for me! I'm staying alert and in top condition. I'm not going to get caugh

I found it increasingly easier to distinguish his voice from the blare of everyday life. I've had a nice couple of days with the Lord. Reminiscing, getting back to doing the things I did at first (Rev 2:5), just worshiping and loving God for who He is; connecting with Him through song and worship. But I awoke this morning and had that feeling that I often have after the high... the low! Come down from the mountain and live ordinary life. There's almost a sense of "put those higher thoughts away, it's time to get back to reality". But I don't want to live that way. There is an everydayness to the pursuit and love of God. I read about presence practitioners like Frank Laubach, and Brother Lawrence and recognize the importance of pursuing God in the everyday, but I feel completely unsuited to the task. All kinds of interference get in the way, the noise of the world, the noise of people, the noise of myself. Lord, help me today to listen, and watch, to a

It is as if God is saying, “I want the hearts of my people back!” Service as a substitute for worship is idolatry. I want to have it all together. I get tired of having to regroup, retool, replan, redo. Why can't I just nail it every time? But then I look at that sentiment. What am I saying there, what is the priority? That I look good, that I nail it, that I have it together and am authoritative. Isn't that a missing of the mark, aka sin? No doubt I want to be the best, but I don't want to put in the work to be the best. I just want God to bring me to this arrival point and celebrate in reaping the rewards repeatedly. Sounds childish, I know, but what can I say... it's true. But I pray that God somehow get a hold of me again, and with ever increasing frequency. That I turn from my I and look at life through His. I pray that God gets my heart, that the fires of His holiness burn within me so that I am not so careful as to not make a mistake, but rather fait

A. W. Tozer says, “The essence of idolatry is the entertainment of thoughts about God that are unworthy of Him.” To think rightly about God is, in an important sense, to have everything right. To think wrongly about God is, in an important sense, to have everything wrong. This morning as I began to read I prayed, "Lord, teach my mind to think, my heart to believe, and my mouth to speak." I've been thinking a lot about work these days. Probably too much. Definitely too much. I keep thinking about how I'm not showing up in the space as a leader, how others get preferential treatment, and about how my boss is not trustworthy. I may be whining. Which is way I probably need to step away from thinking about it so much. Do I believe there are some real injustices in how I am treated? Yes. But is that not training for the fight?! My thought life needs a cleansing. I think negative thoughts far too often and believe it is time to begin making more of a conscious effort t

Worship is our response to the overtures of love from the heart of the Father. Its central reality is found “in spirit and truth.” It is kindled within us only when the Spirit of God touches our human spirit. Forms and rituals do not produce worship... It's the Spirit side of things that has always caused me to be iffy. There is no doubt in my mind that God has touched me by His Spirit, and continues to do so. Well, mostly no doubt. But when those touches happen I just have no idea. Well, I can guess that there's a higher chance when I follow a routine or practice which has encounter as a goal. What's the point of this post? It's that the Spirit is not "iffy" but "when-ny". We are children of promise. The Lord has not abandoned us. If we can hang onto that promise we will get where we need to be. Or should I say, when we hang onto that promise... Lord Jesus, I have chosen a false humility, one of self-deprecation that impacts my confidence.

The Discipline of confession brings an end to pretense....Honesty leads to confession, and confession leads to change. As I read through the last section, readying in my mind to meet with Tim tomorrow morning, I though about how much "pretense" there is in my own life. I thought about the kids I get mad at for doing the stupid things they do, and the adults. But on some level, do I not completely understand? "I am chief among sinners!" I've thought recently, within the past few days, that life is starting to become more "life". At first, and for a long time, and probably still, life was work. But now I am trying to make time for kayaking, and breakfast with my wife, and not working in the evenings. I'm not totally there yet, but I'm getting there. But honestly, I'm still really mad at the people I work with. I feel like so much of what comes toward me is spiteful and demoralizing. Yet, given this morning's reading on confession, h