Sky Gaze Fam

Matthew 9:9 In an observation yesterday, Mrs. Pope-Banks explored tension with her class. In my own life there is tension which I wish to resolve that won't. I must learn to live with the tension. And I do, but it causes me anxiety. I find myself like Paul wishing this thorn be plucked from my flesh. The tension I'm thinking of most right now is that between novelty and routine; put another way, the tension between spontaneity and discipline. It takes spontaneity to leap out into new endeavor, but it takes discipline to stick to the same thing repeatedly until that endeavor becomes a skill. Both take time. I cannot be spontaneous all of the time because then I become unreliable, fickle, and I don't accomplish much. I cannot be disciplined all of the time, because then I ignore others for the sake of accomplishing my routines (which hopefully lead to real accomplishment). I think an answer lies in paying attention. And then reflecting. Lord, I tend to think of mysel...

Jess and I both shut down yesterday. She was overwhelmed because she had gotten the grass colors wrong on the animal mural she is working on, and the colors on the business cards she had ordered didn't turn out right, and the thank you card octopus image was off center. To top it all off, or more likely because of everything that preceded, she couldn't figure out what colors to get to correct the grass on the mural. She ended the night settling on a color for the business cards she didn't prefer (just to get it done) and looking at pictures of the mural, considering how the dark colors would show through whatever color she painted over them. I was overwhelmed with the fact that my boss called me into the office and I kind of blew up. I told her that I know what I have to do, I have to be stronger and more pursuant (I might have used the word "shit"). She called me in because earlier I lingered on sending an email about a field trip that I had forgotten about, aw...

Galatians 2:20, 3:1 I want to be closer to God, but I don't always do things that bring me closer to Him. On impulse, I feel I have to do things that are for me or I will lose myself. Maybe some of that is true, but I believe on the whole God is leading me to shed some impulse, at least the impulses that lead me to jump to one activity or another. Or maybe it's better said that I'd like to not allow impulses to cause me to singularly focus on an activity, whether I get to do it or not, how I can make that task better. Instead, I'd like to spend more time allowing the activity to lead me to God, family, and friends. Yesterday, I was so grateful to be a part of the Read's celebration, but I found myself thinking that I was the blessing. In instances like that, where I surmise that I am the gift for everyone, I can behave on the one hand in a superficial manner (I wouldn't want to spoil the gift), and on the other hand self-indulgent (I am the gift after all)...

Was really touched by the Read's celebration of Matt's successful adoption of Will and Lizzie. They had business cards to show for it and I grabbed one of each. The Read's celebrate... period. All kinds of reasons, but the bottom line is that they celebrate the triumphs, little and big. That's how they are, and who they are can teach us a few things. Have a lot of fun, do the things you love, and do the things together.

Romans 14:1 & Philippians 4:8-9 I have an irreversible tendency toward the dramatic. My inclination is to dramatize everything. That is part of my truth. I say this because at times I am at odds with myself and feel "my truth" is masked. That is to say that I feel I am not telling the truth because of my penchant for the dramatic. Last night, I sighed, "is there hope for this generation in God"? Do I believe that sigh? Yes, but I also have another mind about it, that the possibility exists that we can be a generation who reconnects with God and lives out that kind of dynamic life that He wants us to live, full of faith. In the midst of doubt, tension between two opinions, there is faith, a following of the "one way to go". Lord, keep me from high drama, from making everything big. Help me to know that big moments will arise. I think that I am getting a glimpse that I have a desire to be a part of big things, but that creating drama is the way ...

What if God weren't there? If He didn't exist? The thoughts I have in response to this question are embarrassing for a Christian. Would life go on? Could it? I seek a life marked by God, not the fantastic imaginations of my own mind. I am so clever. Too clever. And I don't then know the truth. But there are times when I get simple and just do the thing that needs to be done. Not saying my mind is not going, but the thing that needs to be done is in the doing. Under way. Is that what you're telling me, God? Do the things that need to be done. Labor without working, be redeemed without laboring. Walk by faith not by sight. In my sight today were Caleb and Dustin, teen challenge chaps with steely physiques and forlorn minds. They've been whooped, but they can take it. Also in the mix were the Grisham's. Lovely people, but I feel like something is missing in all of our faiths. We're all too comfortable, like an old Southern home, built for leisure. Eve...

Most of us isolate prayer from the rest of what God is doing in our lives pg. 168 APL In Christ's family there can be no division... Gal 3:28 I am seeking connection. Continuity. What I do in one area of my life connects to another. I have lamented that I have a divided God, maybe better said two Gods. One is a master of the universe, a master calculator and planner. His intellectual capacity is unfathomable; He is able to plan the end from the beginning and recalculate given myriad alternate variables. The other God is a lover. His love reaches unsearchable depths and knows no bounds. This God almost seems flighty to me, the kind of god that would trip over his own steps while in pursuit of the object of his affection. But here's the thing: the incalculably great god and the uncalculating lover god are God. Maybe that's what the phrase God is Love is all about. It's an ajoinment of two farcical ideas, finding their way to one Person. Perhaps God is the answer to...

Today I connected with "unless". Unless you need to, do not "un-less". In other words, less is more. I struggle with this idea. By nature I seek largesse, flourish, bigness. I complicate things; it can even be difficult for me to see the simplest option because I get near sighted on the option that my feelings give me an affinity for. What can I say, I'm primitive. But it was a rather great day taken altogether. I spent time with Sadie, let her run around BCF while I shopped for lounge wear I'd been looking to get for probably years now. Man, never underestimate the impact of a new look, especially when brought to full effect by new clothes. Before that I had made a couple checklists for field trips and school events. After I got to write for SeedProjX Botany (which is where the "unless" stuff is coming from). From this audiobook, Secrets of Happy Families I'm coming around to the idea that doing family life right requires lots of thoughtful ...

Listening to an audiobook by Joseph Marshall III, a Native American in story and upbringing. He tells stories of Crazy Horse and his relations that are reminiscent of Jesus. I'd like to share a few of those stories one being about a man who follows the path alone and finds a path of self-discovery found himself in the end but not the beginning. He, in his isolation, was observant about his surroundings; he became the best at knowing the land knowing the ways that you can find shelter. And peace. There came a time when the warriors were away and this man had to be relied on to get the women and the elders to shelter. from that time on he became known as the man who knows the land. There's another story written about Crazy Horse where a man came to him and said I want to join your people your community and Crazy Horse said to him kill your horse and this didn't make sense to the people that he lived with and the community because your horse is your livelihood. What Crazy Ho...

"We can't pray effectively until we get in touch with our inner brat" APL, pg 161. I get so upset at the silliest things. If I say them out loud, I am embarrassed. They are small things. My wife won't talk to me about this the way I want her too, or my wife didn't want to make love tonight. These things that are often momentary get extrapolated into huge monuments which I gaze on and ponder. Their power is negativity and I stand transfixed in darkness. I want the light of my way and I won't be satisfied with anything else. It's silly, but all too real at the same time. Lord, help me with my smallness, the way I get stuck on little things. Help me to be a big man, but not of my own fortitude, but of the indwelling life of God. In Jesus name, amen.

Closing the door on all of the natural inclinations in this diagram seems an impossible challenge. But what seems worse is not connecting to what is real, the reality that surpasses our biological senses (although it includes them) and whispers to us that are made for more. We have the capacity for greatness, but greatness is experienced through a means counterintuitive to what we thought. There is a book popular today titled The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. I've not read it, but I presume to know its contents: do what you want, the world will love you for it. And it's true. The world will love you, because it people see what they may be unleashed. And so it is not so much love as it is envy and covetousness. There is another book written and it is called The Earth Shattering, Counterintuitive Art of Being Beholden to Christ. This second book I have only begun to read from the prelude. But I caught a glimpse of something today. From a Gottman book on marriage principles I...